


when we return (back to where it began)

by thisismylastlie



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-03 15:50:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15822060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismylastlie/pseuds/thisismylastlie
Summary: Jaebum walks the line between close and not close enough.





	when we return (back to where it began)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheTransientTako](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTransientTako/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Plastic (I don't want to die without you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10312268) by [TheTransientTako](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTransientTako/pseuds/TheTransientTako). 



Jaebum saw him first. 

It’s immature and Youngjae doesn’t need to remind him with that Look every time Jaebum so much as glances over to the corner booth. Jaebum knows he’s being childish, but he can’t help it when his trained stoic expression falters every time Jinyoung’s laugh chimes through the air or his finger lingers on Mark’s arm.

“For someone who said he’s over it, you sure don’t look over it,” Youngae says after taking a sip of whatever dark alcohol he’s drinking. Jaebum’s nose scrunches at the idea of drinking any dark alcohol straight, or at the whining sound Jinyoung makes as Mark’s face buries into his shoulder, or both. Probably both.

“I’m allowed a six-week grieving period,” Jaebum grumbles, downing the rest of his ginger ale. Being an enforcer means he’s on the job 24/7 and that means no drinking, not that he even minds.

“Maybe if you actually had a chance with him, I’d be more sympathetic.” Youngjae dodges the toothpick Jaebum flicks at him. “But he’s always had eyes for Mark. You never stood a chance.”

Jaebum seriously considers how angry his boss would be if he locks Youngjae in his trunk for two days. He’ll feed him and make sure he gets bathroom breaks. No harm, no foul, right?

A new body slides in beside Jaebum, knocking shoulders with him. “Don’t kick a dog when he’s down,” Jackson teases, before ordering a scotch on the rocks from the bartender. Jaebum refrains from rolling his eyes, knowing the man only orders that when he’s planning to take someone home. Jackson’s choice of drinks are typically much more colorful and, ahem, fruity. 

“I regret telling either of you anything,” Jaebum says, turning so he’s facing away from the bar. 

“You didn’t tell us anything,” Youngjae points out. “We just happen to be excellent Jaebum readers. It’s a gift, really. I don’t think anyone else has even caught on yet that you’re totally in love with Mark’s boyf--”

“Please don’t say it,” Jaebum interrupts, smothering the left side of his face with his hand in exasperation. “I don’t need to be reminded.”

“Weak sauce,” Jackson snorts. “What happened to Cool Guy Jaebum? That guy would’ve never cowered at the mere words ‘Mark’s boyfriend’.”

Jaebum groans. “How much will it cost to shut you two up?”

“Five hundred thousand?”

“Make it seven. I’ve seen his paycheck.”

Jackson and Youngjae laugh, high-fiving and cheering each others’ drinks. Jaebum uses this as a distraction to finally slink away from the bar and heading to the back, making it a point to avoid looking back.

On the way, Jaebum passes the stage he first saw Jinyoung on, that quiet night years ago before Mark was even in the picture. He’s embarrassed by how much he remembers from that night, that night that was supposed to mean nothing but actually became the start of everything. 

It was early December. Jaebum was working a late shift and the boss was wanted company, which is how Jaebum ended up in a place like this in the first place. He only looked because there was nothing else to do.

But he couldn’t look away because after Jinyoung, there was no one else to see.

He was beautiful, long hair covering his eyes, body glistening with sweat and God knows what else. Jaebum swore he sparkled under the dim lights of the stage. His movements were hypnotic, and everyone in the room was watching. For the first time in his life, Jaebum was overwhelmed with a sense of possessiveness. He wanted that man to be only his.

₩ 600,000 felt too cheap for a man like Jinyoung. Jaebum made sure to tip extra, with rolled up bills in a g-string at the end of the night.

What was supposed to be a one time thing because a two, three, four time thing, until suddenly Jaebum found himself back at the bar for the fifth time that month. This was all new to him, but he reasoned that lust is a powerful emotion.

However, Jaebum couldn’t fool himself. He knew there was no reason to follow Jinyoung’s gaze as he slammed into him, no reason to kiss him after each payment, if this was just lust. 

But that look in Jinyoung’s eyes made Jaebum want more. Something in Jinyoung felt familiar, real, and raw to Jaebum, and he wanted --  _ no _ , needed that.

This all changed when Mark entered the picture. Suddenly the time Jinyoung usually spent on the stage was spent in a booth in the corner, whispering sweet nothings into the ear of Jaebum’s boss’ newest associate.

That was when Jaebum knew it definitely wasn’t just lust, but by then, it was too late.

Jinyoung already belonged to Mark. 

 

-

 

Death sucks. Jaebum knew this long before he joined the Seven Stars crime syndicate. His first taste of death was not a dip in a lake, but a struggle against a raging river that Jaebum fought to stay afloat in for months before he dropped out of college his first year, overwhelmed with grief. 

With no family to welcome home, Jaebum found a new home in a corner of his hometown where Wooyoung found him and took him in. It was only a matter of weeks before Wooyoung revealed his position in the town’s most notorious mob and asked Jaebum to join him as what he called an enforcer, which Jaebum learned was really a glorified bodyguard.

But something is better than nothing, and Jaebum was tired of crying alone.

He met Youngjae his first week of work. He didn’t expect someone who appeared as reserved and calm as Youngjae to be part of the operation, but turns out the man is fantastic at handling the behind the scenes work. Youngjae has gotten their entire syndicate out of countless almost-mishaps with the law, through backchannels and secret deals with government officials.

The two become fast friends, at first due to their close age then because Youngjae’s calm exterior is what Jaebum needed most at that point of his life. (How was he to know that Youngjae would soon become the bane of his existence and the source of endless teasing alongside Jackson?)

This is all to say that Jaebum is familiar with death. It is an old ghost in his life that haunts him, but he pays it no mind because he’s now friends with his demons. 

Mark’s death is different. It’s been a long time since any death has left him as shaken as this. 

The news arrives early morning, through a phone call from his boss who details it in cold, precise words and hangs up after instructions on how to proceed are given. Right after he hangs up, Jaebum dials Jinyoung’s number.

It goes straight to voicemail.

He tries again and again, but it’s hopeless. Unable to sleep, he gets out of bed and puts on pants and makes his way to the living room. 

When there’s a knock at the door, Jaebum answers without checking. He knows who it is.

“We found him at Mark’s,” Youngjae says, voice quiet and expression somber. On the other side of him, Jackson stands sharing the weight of a grief-stricken Jinyoung, whose cries echo throughout the empty halls of his apartment building. 

Jaebum helps them bring Jinyoung in, and Jackson excuses himself to check on Yugyeom. A rush of guilt falls over Jaebum as he realizes that he totally forgot about Mark’s one and only brother and how the man may be processing Mark’s death. All he had been thinking about was Jinyoung.

 

-

 

It was mid-spring the day Mark officially introduced Jinyoung to the rest of the gang. Yugyeom was all snickers and waggling eyebrows as Jinyoung walked into the room, fingers intertwined with Mark’s. Jaebum kept a straight face and didn’t look down.

“This is Park Jinyoung, my boyfriend,” Mark announced, holding their hands up. “He’s mine, so don’t touch him.” There’s a teasing lilt to Mark’s voice, but that’s just his natural intonation. Everyone in the room knew that Mark meant what he said, and that he had the power to back up his words.

“So I guess this means you two are official now?” Yugyeom asked, throwing an arm around Jinyoung because he’s the only one immune to Mark’s threat. “About time, I was getting so sick of spending that time at the bar just so you could hit on him. Seriously, do you guys know how much money we could’ve saved if Mark grew a pair and just asked him out the first day? Or, hell, even the first week?”

Jinyoung laughed, a sound Jaebum recognized distantly. He clenched his fist. 

“Get out of here,” Mark said, shoving his brother off to the side. “Anyway, that’s all I had to say. Let’s drink now.” Because of course Mark chose their colleague BamBam’s birthday as the perfect event for his announcement.

Not that BamBam seemed to mind. If anything, he was just as amused as everyone else (sans Jaebum).

Jaebum had every intention to just wish BamBam a happy birthday, slide him some money as a gift, and then head out. He saw enough of Mark and Jinyoung’s flirting at that bar. But before he can make it to BamBam, he’s intercepted by none other than the man he’s been trying to avoid.

“Mark,” Jaebum said, face stoic. 

“Jaebum!” said man exclaims, roping him into a handshake turned hug. “What’ve you been up to man? I swear I haven’t seen you around in months even though we run in the same circle.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” He had. “I’ve just been busy.” _ Watching you make out with the man I want for myself. _

Mark’s expression was steady, a pleasant smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I understand. We’re all a little busy in this job, right?” Mark said. “But I think Jinyoung misses having you around. He’s talked about you before. I think you were his favorite customer.” Everything down to the tone of his words is neutral.

Jaebum didn’t mean to let the surprise show on his face, but he didn’t mean for a lot of things to happen.

Before he can reply, Mark walked off to talk to Jackson. Jaebum was gathering his thoughts when someone tapped him on his shoulder, and somehow, Jaebum already knew who it was before he turned around.

“Hey there, stranger,” Jinyoung said, smile lighting up his eyes in a more authentic manner than Mark could ever fashion. “Where’ve you been these days? I don’t see you at that bar anymore, how come?”

_ Because I can’t stand to watch you fall in love with someone else.  _ “Just been busy. Mark told me you missed me though.”

Jinyoung snorted, smile never leaving his lips. He looked so happy, Jaebum actually began to feel guilty for hating Mark so much. If anyone could make Jinyoung this happy, Jaebum should be happy too. 

“Well yeah, you’re one of my closest friends,” Jinyoung said, voice light as if they didn’t hold the weight of the world to Jaebum. “I trust you more than my own family at this point.”

Jaebum raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have any family.”

“That’s the point,” Jinyoung replied with a wink. Jaebum couldn’t help but laugh at that. Jinyoung always did have a strange sense of humor. 

“I’ll try to make time to come by then,” Jaebum relented, running a hand through his hair to hide his frustration. He hated how Jinyoung could make him do whatever he wanted with just a look.

“Good,” Jinyoung said, smiling. “I’ll even save a dance for you.”

Jaebum frowned, glancing over at Mark. “Will that be okay with…”

“Mark? Yeah, he’s not really the jealous kind,” Jinyoung said, following Jaebum’s gaze with a soft smile. “It’s what makes us work. He respects me and my job.”

_ That’s the least he could do for someone like you, _ Jaebum thought, his eyes falling on Jinyoung. It’s unfair, because as how much as he wanted to grab Jinyoung by the shoulders and shake him to his senses, to ask Jinyoung to choose him instead, he knew he couldn’t. Not when Jinyoung looked at Mark like he hung the moon and the stars.

So Jaebum settled for the second best option.

“I look forward to our dance, then.”

 

-

 

Time heals all, but Jaebum wonders if this is one of those things that will stay broken. In the same way that ashes cannot return to their original state before the fire, Jaebum worries as Jinyoung crumbles more and more into himself each day.

He keeps his distance, because too close and he knows it’ll only hurt worse, but too far and Jinyoung may not make it. Jaebum watches as Jinyoung deteriorates both inside and out, his once bright skin dark and sullen and his expressions devoid of light. 

At first, he insists Jinyoung stay with him. He knows the man doesn’t have family, it was one of those things that made Jaebum feel closer to him. 

But Jinyoung said he needed time, and Jaebum can’t say no to Jinyoung.

The funeral is a quiet affair, sans the cries of Jinyoung. Jaebum does his best to shoulder most of the sounds, but somehow, muffled sobs sound even worse than the shrillest of wails. Yugyeom is quiet the entire time, as if he had run out of tears long ago, and he avoids meeting eye contact with anyone. Jaebum understands: seeing the pity in others’ eyes is another injury entirely.

Afterwards, the world continues to spin. Business carries on like normal, because casualties in this world are a given. The world of crime is tough, and so its people must be tougher. 

This is where Jaebum hesitates. He knows the best choice is to get Jinyoung out, because a man like him could never survive in a world like this without more suffering, and Jaebum can’t stand the thought of watching Jinyoung wilt any further. But he knows that if he steps back, no one else is around to step up. And right now, the worst option would be to let Jinyoung handle this alone.

So Jaebum plays babysitter for the man he loves as he mourns the man he loved. 

Sometimes Jaebum thinks they’re making progress. Sometimes Jinyoung will go an entire day without shedding a single tear, and when he’s lucky, the man will even let out a genuine laugh.

Right now, Jaebum is internally rejoicing at his success in getting Jinyoung to tag along and go to the bar with him. It was tough at first, Jinyoung dragging his feet and sniffling the entire time. He wouldn’t even accept his favorite drink, a mint julep, raising his hand when Jaebum started to order.

“Why am I here, Jaebum?” Jinyoung asks, face expressionless as he sits at the bar. 

“To get some fresh air and see familiar faces,” Jaebum answers, taking his own daiquiri and downing it. He’s going to need it to make it through the night. 

“There are no faces here that I want to see,” Jinyoung answers, lifeless. “Take me home, Jaebum. I don’t want to be here.”

Jaebum sighs. So much for a success. “Alright, alright. Let me just tell the boss I’m leaving to drive you home. I’ll be right back.” 

He’s only gone for less than five minutes, but when he returns, Jinyoung is talking to a man. He looks familiar, but Jaebum can’t put a name to it. Jaebum freezes when the man leans forward and brushes the hair out of Jinyoung’s eyes, fingers lingering on his cheeks down to his chin where they stay put. 

“Excuse me,” Jaebum interrupts, voice icy as he bumps shoulders with the man.

“You’re excused,” the man sneers, not even sparing Jaebum a glance. He doesn’t budge. Upon getting a closer look, Jaebum realizes why the man looks familiar: he’s a member of their rival gang, Twin Dragons. His hand gravitates towards his belt, where his gun is hidden.

“He’s a friend,” Jinyoung says, and Jaebum isn’t sure who he’s referring to. “I have to go now, but maybe I’ll see you around.” What is happening? Less than ten minutes ago, this exact same man was begging to go home to wallow in misery, and now he’s flirting with a stranger? Jaebum’s blood boils at the thought.

“What’s the rush?” the man asks, holding Jinyoung’s arm before he can step away from the bar. “I’m sure your  _ friend _ here can wait while we… get to know each other.” The leery up-and-down look he gives Jinyoung fills Jaebum with more outrage.

But Jinyoung just  _ smiles _ of all things. He leans in, whispers something into the man’s ear that Jaebum tries with all his might to hear but cannot, and then pulls away effortlessly. The man smirks, taking a napkin from the bar and scribbling a number on it before handing it to Jinyoung. He walks off, not even sparing Jaebum a second glance.

“What was that?” Jaebum demands once he’s gone.

“Nothing. Let’s go now,” Jinyoung says, settling back into his morose self. 

“That was not nothing. You were flirting--”

“I was having fun,” Jinyoung interrupts with a glare. “It was a thrill, the first time I’ve felt like that in a while. Are you really mad at me for that?”

Jaebum’s jaw tightens. No, he can’t be mad at that. Not when this was the first time he’s seen Jinyoung smile in weeks, even if the smile felt off. Right now, maybe Jinyoung’s twisted version of happiness was the best Jaebum could hope for.

Jinyoung sighs when he can tell Jaebum has no response to that. He tucks the napkin into his pocket, and then tugs on Jaebum’s sleeve. “Take me home please, Jaebum. I’m tired.” 

It’s a quiet ride back.

 

-

 

Jinyoung is a natural flirt. Jaebum learned that the day they met, when Jinyoung slid into the seat beside him and gave Jaebum his award-winning smile. 

“You’re new,” was the first thing Jinyoung ever said to him. “You’re cute.”

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Jaebum replied, smooth because he wasn’t yet bogged down by things like feelings or emotions. Back then, as pretty as the man was and as soft as his eyes looked, he was nothing to Jaebum but something to look at. 

“That’s what they tell me,” Jinyoung chuckled,  leaning back. “So what is a man like you doing in a bar like this?” He gestured to the older men lingering around, faces etched with wrinkles and nefarious looks. 

“Let’s just say work,” Jaebum answered, keeping it short and simple like this exchange was meant to be. 

“Oh, well, what a coincidence, because I’m also here for work,” Jinyoung said, smiling as he leans into Jaebum. “And I think I just found my paycheck.”

Jaebum was impressed by the straightforwardness of the man. “What makes you think I want you?” 

There it was: the smirk that started a war within Jaebum. “I saw the way you watched me dance up there. I know that look when I see it.” Jinyoung leaned back now, tilting his head to the side as if to say, ‘prove me wrong.’ But Jaebum couldn’t, because Jinyoung was right. 

Jaebum felt his pants tighten as he asked, “How much?”

 

-

 

It’s a rainy sunday morning the next time Jaebum sees Jinyoung. It’s his usual routine to check up on Jinyoung when it rains. He knows those days are the hardest on the man.

“Do you want to go eat pancakes at the diner down the street?” Jaebum asks, voice as gentle as he can manage as he greets Jinyoung, after the man opens his door to let him into his increasingly messier apartment.

Jinyoung doesn’t even spare Jaebum a second glance after he opens the door, turning his back to walk to the living room. His eyes are bloodshot and the bags under his eyes grow darker each time Jaebum sees him. “I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat. Come on, I know you like that place.” Jaebum and Jinyoung used to frequent the diner after their long nights, before Mark came along and even after, when those long nights came to mean Jaebum getting off shift late and Jinyoung waiting for Mark to get home.

“I don’t want to leave.” Jinyoung is curled up on the couch, knees up to his chest and pillow in between. 

Jaebum sighs. Love is patience, but damn, they also really meant it when they said love is difficult. “Jinyoung…”

“Jaebum. I know you mean well, but I just-- I can’t. I can’t do this. I’ve tried, but it’s been weeks and my chest still aches every time I think of him.” Jinyoung’s breath hitches. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jaebum furrows his eyebrows. He’s heard this before, but this time, it sounds different. In the past, when Jinyoung spoke like this, he was sobbing, throwing whatever he could grab his hands on.

But right now, Jinyoung looks calm, eyes hollow as he stares out the window behind Jaebum. It’s scarier than any object Jinyoung could throw at him. “What do you mean, Jinyoung?”

Silence. That’s something Jaebum is used to. 

After a few moments pass, Jinyoung finally looks at Jaebum. The twisted smile he wears tears at Jaebum’s heart. “Can you take me to him?” 

“Right now? It’s raining.” Even indoors, they can hear the harsh pitter patter of the storm outside.

Jinyoung nods. “Please.”

Jaebum needs to learn how to say no to this man.

 

-

 

It was the night before Mark entered the picture. Jaebum remembers this night as clear as day. He remembers what Jinyoung wore, a black see-through crop top and leather jeans, and he remembers what Jinyoung ordered, a mint julep, his new proclaimed favorite. He remembers the body spray Jinyoung smelled of, and the way his eyes sparkled whenever Jaebum leaned in to whisper something.

“You look good tonight,” Jaebum said, smiling as he handed Jinyoung his drink.

“Are you implying I don’t look good every night?” Jinyoung teased, smiling as Jaebum shook his head.

“How long are you working today?” Jaebum asked, knowing Jinyoung knew exactly what that question meant:  _ When are you free to come with me? _

“I work ‘til midnight today,” Jinyoung answered breezily. “Then I’m all yours,” he finished with a wink.

“Midnight only? Short shift today.” Usually Jinyoung worked until the bar closed.

“Yeah, boss said they’re closing early for a party or something. Actually, he may have mentioned your gang. Are you not going?”

Right, Jaebum remembered, there was a party to welcome new recruits. It’s a surprise that Jinyoung, the bar’s best, was not required to attend. 

“I may stop by for a little,” Jaebum replied.

“Yeah, they specifically asked for no dancers,” Jinyoung hummed, voice light and curious. “I wonder who made that request, they must not be popular among the others right now.” He chuckled.

Jaebum watched as Jinyoung laughed, unable to keep a smile off his own features. “You know, you’re gorgeous when you laugh.”

Jinyoung grinned at that. “Then I guess I should laugh more often.”

When Jaebum’s heart skipped a beat, he wasn’t surprised. This was a long time coming at this point. Their conversations went from short and to-the-point (which was usually sex), to long and meaningful, ranging from their pasts to their prospective futures. Jaebum found himself enjoying those talks even more than their nights spent together in bed.

Watching Jinyoung wink at Jaebum as he sauntered off to get a drink from a new patron, Jaebum knew what the squeeze in his chest meant. He knew what the lingering glances, the twitchy fingers, and the restless leg meant.

Jaebum would protect Jinyoung until the very end. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to TheTransientTako for the source material. If you desire a more satisfying ending, then I do suggest reading their fic, because this is meant as a prequel to that story with a different perspective than the original as well (the original source had Jinyoung as the protagonist).


End file.
